Another round of TwitterFic

Tanner didn’t think much about the first 82 that went through the lab. That’s why the latest psycho was known as @TheFool83.

The knock at the door, we assumed was @jennieofcourse. And indeed, it *was* Jennie. But that was before the Zombie virus took her.

He wanted to be known as “His Royal Majesty the Everlasting Superhero and All Around Great Guy Brandon,” but we shortened it to @HMMADNESS

When we found @LilDannyTaylor hugging her momma’s knees, we presumed them safe from the horde. Turns out, we were wrong.

We didn’t know much about the @Twisted_twins until police found a @_DeadHooker in their Trunk. Now, we can’t know enough.

When he saw @IanFydell took to the woods. Ian had been taken by the Zombie Horde, and Fydell didn’t want to risk a bite.

Rebecca was a @CreepyWalker until the virus took hold. Now she’s a fleet-footed zombie with an appetite for long pig.

The realization that the crystal monster was @kNotOfGod sent me reeling to my knees with mouth open in supplication.

We though the @MD_awkward when he sliced through the abdomen. It was only later that we figured out the doctor was a zombie and just hungry.

If you ask @Derek4words, you get a mouthful of mumbles. But if you ask him for a knife, then things get interesting.

When she saw @theglitterlady take to her heels, Stevie realized it was because she was a sparkly vampire, and not a fairy as presented.

“You can have an @icypop,” Zombie dad said to Zombie daughter. “But wouldn’t you rather have an Icy Sedgwick? More meat on humans than pops”

When we saw the @Blue_Girl13, we assumed she was cold. It turned out, however, that Nadine’s unique color came from the Zombie virus.

With the demon imprisoned within @jezebelsbody, safety seemed assured. Too late we realized Jezebel was Queen of the Zombies.

Once she found the enchanted @StrawberrySarah thought all would be fine. But, zombies don’t care for strawberries and ate her instead.

When we found the water was @Toxik_Shock rippled through the community. That was before we realized it as the source of the zombie plague.

When we saw the splattered zombie underneath @jezebelsbody, we thought Jezebel had not survived. It would have been better if she hadn’t.

As an @AuthorTiffany found that she controlled her own little universe with her writing. But that was only until the zombie virus broke out.

“@IamLadyAurora,” she said, waving a regal hand from her position on the balcony. Below her zombies beat their heads against the stone walls

Because she growled over the book, they assumed the @Literarygrrrl couldn’t read. Their assumption proved fatal.

When he saw the @WerewolfMike backed away slowly. Unfortunately, there was a zombie behind him.

@Jody7666 had fooled everyone by separating her name from hell by a single 7. Zombies, however, don’t believe in hell and ate her anyway.

When we found the @AuthorTiffany shook her awake. But didn’t know that the author had been bitten, and now she’s part of the horde.

While Nicole shouted that she was the @sisofdragons, it did like good against the Zombie horde who hungered for human-flavored reptile.

Zombies rarely care what they feed on, as their taste buds are largely burnt out. But as a horde they know that a @gingerkytten tastes best.

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A Ghost has Followed Me for the last 30 Years

It’s an odd morning. I’m up early on a weekend, because I need to go look homes. I’m selling my current house as part of the divorce settlement. Even though I own the house outright, I have to split what I sell the house for with the psycho-ex. That puts a dent in my buying power for the next house. A serious dent. I’ll be downscaling quite a bit, as lost my good-paying job in January. Now I have a job at half the salary. That’s miserable in this market.

Anyway. I’m sitting in the living room watching a little TV, waiting to leave for the appointment with the real estate agent. I’ve got a dog and a cat. Both of them are sitting in the LR with me.

Suddenly, there’s a loud crash in the laundry. “What the fuck was that?” I didn’t jump up. I set my coffee aside, then got up slowly. I went into the laundry room, and there on the floor is a huge bottle of liquid laundry detergent pouring out onto the floor.

“Shit!” I snatched up the detergent and screwed on the cap. On the floor, a blue pool slowly spreads out across the linoleum. I grabbed some dirty clothes from the hamper and soaked up the detergent.

I’m doing a load of laundry early today. But I’m still wondering how the fuck that detergent got off the top shelf and onto the floor.

Capturing bots

I played a game a few nights ago to gather bots to my account. You can do that by tweeting keywords to Twitter, like iPad, Dunkin Donuts, free laptop … There are other keywords, but I’ll not post them all here. But I will list the bots who responded to my tweets:


Check out Miriam’s list of brainless bots


@Avmioerw
@Bfdgerh
@fredericaupatti
@AlanaRoseman
@happybiled
@Antivirus_Progs
@AlanaRoseman
@tnech17
@cokstr
@_BelieveITorNOT
@ebook_script
@ashesphoc
@webCommuniti
@ZombieFallout
@griselmklstephe
@provakhan49
@TheStoryPlant
@rai_rupali
@ZombieTees
@sodomized_bot
@sodomy_bot
@compareshoes
@sneakersnike
@fishing_secrets
@VictoriaNovikov
@OnlineBiz_Pro
@tweetbutlers
@raymamrak
@aikidoinfo
@ToryRuths1295
@20girljb
@mikokageva
@TracieHine8420
@EvelyneMorelle2
@Detox_Body
@StLouisDalyDeal
@sellyourhouse21
@ProphetofVail
@rahulkumar358
@SukOrielley4020

There’s just 10 for now. I’m sure that I’ll pick up more as I continue to tweet. Feel free to send me your own list of bots, and I’ll post them here.

By the way. No sense in Following a bot. They don’t have much to say.